What if and What then
by Manufactured Guidelines
Summary: A series of unrelated shorts about various scenarios, mostly lighthearted.  No pairings.
1. Blonde

This will be a series of unrelated short scenarios that I think of. Mostly for my wandering mind and all the "what if"s I come up with. Haha.

* * *

The twins were at it again.

_Tono, Tono, look at what we're doing!_ Nudge, nudge, poke, tease.

Tamaki sputtered in indignation, tripping over words and screeching noncoherent phrases. Haruhi decided to innocently point out how terribly sensitive he was being (and that really only fueled the King's anguish). Kyouya pointedly ignored the four, and the seniors merely watched.

_Then_, the phrase was uttered.

_"You stupid blonde!"_

Tamaki recovered from the blow in less that a second, and was just huffing and ready to angrily retort when--

"Takashi," Honey wailed, "Am I a _stupid blondie_!?"

…

Mori looked to be at a loss for words.

* * *

You know, whenever I hear the phrase "stupid/idiot blond" in people's writing (and it's not _specifically_ referring to Tamaki), I start to wonder what Honey thinks. xD 


	2. Dangerous

They were rich, privileged teenagers, she knew.

That was why they could bring to school certain items that were _definitely_ contraband from normal, public schools-- certain items like real antique katanas, pistols (for a cosplay), fireworks, other dangerous chemicals…

Haruhi wondered if it were only members of the Host Club that were allowed these items, actually. _What would happen if other students were to bring items like such?_

Almost as if summoned, the answer came the following day.

--

"Kyouya-sama, this man has been found in possession of firearms; what do you wish to do with him?"

The hosts paused in their activities-- the twins looked up from harassing Haruhi, Tamaki froze in the middle of a monologue no one was listening to, Honey blinked over Mori, who turned from his own seat, and Kyouya coolly appraised his bodyguard.

"Tachibana, where was this…person when you found him?"

"He was skulking about outside the room with a rifle, sir."

Here, the boy looked like he was ready to begin crying-- undignified for a person of his position, but certainly warranted (after all, a person_ would_ be terrified if a large man in a black suit suddenly jumped you from behind). "I was just going to the Riflery Club practice!", he wailed. "I wasn't going to _shoot_ anyone!"

--

Huh. Haruhi found her answer, then.


	3. Almost

Almost

"We're here because of an anonymous message that claims a female presence has been hiding within this room. So gentlemen, if you would please allow us to inspect the area…?" A shorter, dark haired teen spoke for the small group behind him. He was confident that there _was_ a dirty little secret being hidden, and he was determined to find it. Even if it did mean fabricating false tip-offs.

"And may I ask," came a sharp voice, "what the purpose of such a search would be? I am sure you are aware we cater to many fine ladies, so _naturally_ there would be 'female presence'." What sounded like innocent curiosity, he knew, masked the coldness beneath.

"Ah yes, Ootori-san; I mean that a female presence was told to be…ah, actively a member of the club, or setting up…_permanent residence_?" Smirk, smirk.

Tension was carefully hidden, though awkwardness was certainly palpable.

"Go then," the blonde allowed with a flourishing wave, "We the Host Club have nothing to hide."

"Thank you then, Suoh-san, for your permission." A rather dry voice betrayed his lack of respect.

--

The hosts watched, worried for their newest friend, as the foreign group explored the area. Prying hands picked apart drawers and dug through costumes (_dirty hands should not touch art_) and malicious eyes wandered.

Eventually, they were proclaimed finished, until--

"Ah then, it seems we'll simply have to…inspect your fine hosts themselves?"

This was the breaking point. It could not be allowed.

Kyouya adopted a stance meant to intimidate, firmly informing the opposing group that _it wouldn't be necessary_, smiling cruelly as the confident swagger the scrawny man held quickly melted into something like fear. The greasy brunette backed up slightly, only to be captured by the Hitachiins; _oh, so you wanted to inspect us so_intimately_, you say?_

They laughed and laughed as they watched a bead of sweat form, and positively cackled as they watched him stumble backwards into Mori. The tall man looked down at the slighter as if daring him to suggest he was anything but male.

The hateful man fumbled, and the hosts could see any resolve he may have had flicker out like a dying light bulb. They watched him glare and warn (unconvincingly) that he'd be back later as he shakily left the room.

--

They were hiding something, he knew. And he almost had them. _Almost._


End file.
